Gratitude

This time of year there are a lot of posts, articles, tweets, and Facebook updates about gratitude. Some folks elect to write one thing they are thankful for each day, and I always enjoy reading those. I've never done anything like that publicly, mostly because I don't want to come across as overly sentimental (though I am) or mushy (I'm that, too), and because I don't think most people are really that interested. But then I remember that most of the people who I am friends with are my friends precisely because of their attitudes and character. Also, I don't do it because if I started I might never stop.

Still, it's a good exercise to do. Scientific studies have shown that you can improve your own mental well-being by consciously considering positive things, choosing happiness, and looking for silver linings. That, of course, is a gross oversimplification, but it definitely jives with my personal philosophy. I believe if you look for the bad things in life, you will find them, and if you look for the good things you will find those, too. So why on earth would anyone choose to spend energy on the negative? Might as well spend your time and energy focusing on the good in the world.

Tony and I often lapse into military jargon in our everyday lives. We can't help it; we've become institutionalized! Also, I find it castle amusing to say "Clear to starboard" when he is about to make a left-hand turn and I am in the passenger seat. I say "Roger" a lot, too, though it is highly likely to be followed up by the very un-militaristic "-dodger, Rubber Duckie." One good habit that we implemented very early in our relationship is the nightly debrief. Stop thinking like that, you dirty hippie. I mean the hotwash of the day's events. Whoops, there I go again, lapsing into military-speak. I mean to say, each night we ask each other "What was the best part of your day?" It's fun and interesting, often surprising, occasionally sweet, and sometimes amusing. But it's a good way for us to turn our attention to each other and practice positive reflection. And I believe we are closer because of it.

I'm grateful for so many things in this world. Big things, little things, every day things, surprising things, and things it doesn't often occur to me to be thankful for until they smack me upside the head. All I can say is that life is good. I'm sure there are things I take for granted. It's natural, after all, but I make an effort to focus on at least one thing each day, even if it's just the fact that I have a working dishwasher or roses in the front yard. And always, always, I am grateful for the people in my life; my friends and family have been there for me in so many ways. Cried with me, laughed with me, patted my back and cheered me up when I am down, sent me awful puns because they know I love them, saved me the last cookie, loan me a car/shoes/cup of sugar. Usually with impeccable timing, too.

All I can say is that I'm a lucky girl. You could say I love a charmed life, or that I am blessed. I believe both are true, and I believe I bring a lot of that on myself by choosing to surround myself with good people and look for the good in life. Happiness is not a destination; it is a choice. And the more we practice choosing it, the easier it gets.